I think god hates me.
-malcolm
posted at 5:10 PM

"Fat?" "Fat!?" I've got an 8.9 rating on hotornot.com, ya little twink! Someone there offered to buy my panties for $50! Just in case any of you out there care: Me=hottie. Victurd=needledicked loser.
Still, I gotta agree with the Turd about Croton, Daddy. Kick his ass! :-)
-Debbie
posted at 4:44 PM

For those of you out there who are wondering what happened at Dr. Klein's on Friday... here's the scoop (I got this from Mom and Vic-turd - Daddy's not talking). And BTW I was SO at Weezer.
- First, Dr. Klein talked about this blog. How we should all be more constructive, and how VikTurd had a right to say whatever he wanted. Daddy didn't like this.
- Mom said something about the affair Daddy had with that masseuse in '97, which brought up a whole can o' worms.
- Malcolm started making raptor sounds and eating a lot of peanuts. Victor started eating a lot of peanuts too. Dr. Klein just keeps 'em there on his table.
- Daddy got angry, tried to sweep the peanut bowl away, lost his grip, and accidentally threw it at Dr. Klein! Sweartagod! It hit him in that big shiny forehead.
- Dr. Klein acted like he wasn't pissed, (yeh right) and told Daddy that the peanuts were for everyone. He refilled the bowl and Mom, Vic, and Malcolm totally pigged out on 'em for the rest of the time, which made Daddy CRAZY but he couldn't do anything because Dr. Klein was watching and his forehead was still bleeding & etc.
- On the way home, Malcolm yakked all over the SUV, which is gonna smell like vomitatious peanuts FOREVER now.

There ya go, Hooper fans, the Dirt! 8-) And Weezer rokked! :-D
-Debbie
posted at 5:34 PM

All right. I think we can all agree that tonight's visit with Dr. Klein was an unmitigated disaster. I made some mistakes myself, of course, and for those I apologize. Especially about the whole peanut bowl thing. From now on, of course, everyone can have as many of those as they want.
Let's try to move on though, okay? There were some positives, after all.
-Dad
posted at 12:42 AM

I cannot blink anymore. I forgot how. My eyes hurt.
-malcolm
posted at 9:36 PM

Omigawd. Someone take that woman's quotation marks away before she hurts somebody! ;-)
... Say what you want, Vic. But it might mean more if it came from someone who had like any hope of ever getting laid ever. As someone who isn't completely, totally repulsive to the opposite sex, let me tell you that sex is GREAT. :-) Really, really, really great. What a pity for you - you'd really like it.
love,
-Debbie
posted at 9:34 PM

Victor -
I know you didn't mean all those "things," but I think your father and sister need to "hear" that from you. I know you "mean" well.
Today I spent my entire lunch "hour" fending off Libby Henderson, who insists that I switch to Zanax. I simply held my "ground," but I did not lose my temper, even when she called me "smug." Proving, I might add, that the Zoloft is working just fine.
-Mom
posted at 9:31 PM

Okay, troops, it's Wednesday. Let's get some stuff up here already so we have something to show Dr. Klein on Friday. Remember (Victor) the world is reading this.
-Dad
posted at 12:35 PM

Great. Nice going, Victor. The first kid to post, and you crap all over everything. Very nice. Well, I'll tell you what, mister, I'm not going to edit that out like you thought. I'm just going to leave it up there, so Dr. Klein can get a good, "www" look at your attitude. How about THAT?
-Dad
posted at 1:43 PM

Dad here!
This seems to be working, everyone! Let's get on in and "Hooperize" the World Wide Web!
posted at 1:01 AM

Welcome to our world!
posted at 11:11 AM

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